As I am writing this down, the people around me cannot stop but to ask what is my New Year resolution. I did not have any answer, as I did not even think of it. All I could do was to stare at them blankly and look away. Somehow, hearing too much of all these talks about New Year resolutions on TV and the radio make me sick and bored. It is as if the media do not have anything else to talk about in talk shows or programs anymore.
All these talks about the New Year resolutions brought me back to the days when I used to have them and how I was excited and eager to achieve them only for the first few months of the New Year. I never really succeed in achieving all my goals I set as my New Year resolution. Perhaps they were too grandiose or extravagant. I have often read in books or articles that when you set goals for yourself, you have to set realistic goals that most sensible men would deem it achievable. Stay within your capabilities when you set out to do something. However, some also said that you have to set high goals and expectations so that you push yourself to the limits to achieve those high goals and that is when you know where you stand and how far you can go. Either way, I guess both theories could be right and wrong. Ultimately, it all boils down to you.
How many of us have set long term and short-term goals for ourselves? We make long-term goals because we never thought that we would die tomorrow. A friend once told me how if according to her long-term goal, she would have been married and has kids by now. It never happened because it was not just about finding some man to love and settle down with him but it was because that man has to be good looking, tall, dark and handsome. Physical outlooks are not enough; he has to be financially stable and has a good career that can promise her a comfortable life.
Another confession from a friend, according to one of the long-term goals she had, she was supposedly to be in a high-powered well-paying job by today and was to jet setting to fancy faraway places. That too did not happen because her reason was that she got sidetracked and lost focus. With all the details and genuine confessions coming in, I realised that most of us who do not achieve our goals are the ones who mixed goals with dreams. There are differences between the two. Goals are or should be specific, measurable and achievable while dreams are subject to random fate and the lottery of life.
I too have mixed goals with dreams too many a times until I hardly ever achieved anything that I set to achieve. Perhaps I was too relaxed and lose steam so quickly before I could accomplish anything. None of my dreams have been realised so far yet but guess what, that’s ok. The journey to where I want to be seems to be more fulfilling, enriching and exciting than making those dreams into realities. I cannot deny that having those dreams turned into reality would be a bonus but I am enjoying the journey to achieve those dreams now and it does not matter if I succeeded or not. The most important thing is, I have dared to embark on the journey and if I failed, at least I know I tried.
I have given up on long-term goals, I focus more on the short-term goals, and I make sure they are not mixed with my dreams. All I do nowadays is simply to live life daily to the fullest fulfilling my responsibilities as a citizen of the world. Whatever that I set out to do; I make sure I finish it, that’s the only goal I have that seems to be permanent. Perhaps I no longer in want of anything anymore. I have grown contented with what I have and I make do with whatever I have. Perhaps I have realised that eventually we will all die and having long-term goals often makes us forget about the most important stuffs in our lives that we ought to give attentions to daily.
The simple things that we often neglect and take for granted are often in front of us but we fail to take notice of them because we have them everyday. When we focus our mind like this, we will know which are the goals worth striving for and which is a waste of time.
The death in my family made me think of how I want to live my life. The visits to the hospital with all the cancer stricken people whose days are numbered made me think what my goals would be if I only had a year to live. On the other hand, what if I had only six months or even a day? Alternatively, what’s even worse is if I were the one told to have those many days left to live my life. I have always wanted to ask my late brother how he felt about it all. He took it like a man but you cannot hide your true feelings from the one who knows you best no matter how hard you try. I saw it in his eyes and I think I understand how he felt. He never told me of the things he wanted to do for himself instead, he told me of the things he wanted to do for his family while he was still alive. His only hope before he left was to die at home with his family members by his side. He achieved that hope. We made it possible for him. I told myself that sometimes, dying presents a better alternative than living. He made his hope known and that is the kindest thing he did before his death to spare us the agony of not knowing what he had wanted most before he left.
If I had only a year to live, I would make peace to those I had done wrong and to tell the people I love that I love them. I will write a will so that I don’t leave problems for those left behind. I probably will have a list of things to do every year but they will be the most modest, down-to-earth, short term and practical goals.
They are not going to be about what I want to do in five years time or where I want to live and what concept is the décor going to be after I graduated. They are not about what car I will be driving or the kind of job I will be doing. They are going to be about what I will do for my family members on their next birthdays and what I want to cook for them the next weekend I come home. My family and loved ones will be in my priorities list topping the list. I want to have short-term goals that are simple but achievable and will leave a great impact to the people I have loved. I want to have achievable goals that not only put a smile on my face but also to the ones I love, goals which can give us the maximum benefits and satisfaction of contentment, appreciation and thankfulness.
I might as well make peace with those I had done wrong now. I don’t have to wait until I only had just one more year, a month or a day to live to do that. I believe it is a good thing to do and it shouldn’t be in a timetable. I am thankful that I get to live another day with good health. Although most people measure one’s life greatness as to the number of great achievements one has accomplished, or maybe the kind of car one’s driving or the type of house one’s living in. I am just happy that that I have started to realise that life is not something you want to cling on to too much and that there comes a time when you just need to let go.
In my younger days or should I say in my foolish years where I would moaned of how I got a year older at every turn of the calendar, now, I just shrugged it off. I am simply thankful for every day, every month and every year that I am healthy and living.
Happy new year to all of you. Welcome 2006, goodbye 2005!
